Bill Sniffin: Trendy commentary on holsters, fanny packs, pocket protectors, nose rings

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By Bill Sniffin

Believe it or not, this column is all about fashion trends.

My first story is about a period a few years ago when I was in the bar area of ​​the Lander Community Center during a charity fundraiser for disabled veterans.

“Are you packing your bags?”

I didn’t think the question was aimed at me. I kept minding my own business.

“Are you packing your bags?” the voice on my left continued.

I looked and here is a beautiful female. It was she who asked the question.

When my gaze on her was obviously confused, she asked me a third time, “Are you packing your bags?” She pointed to the holster attached to my belt on the right side.

I turned around and showed her it was just my cell phone.

“Oh,” he said, “I thought you were preparing a gun, wearing a holster like that.”

“No, it’s just my cell phone,” I replied.

Now, I make friends with a lot of guys who are armed most of the time. Some carry guns in their boots, others in hidden holsters and sometimes right on their belts. Many have loaded hand guns into the glove compartment of their cars.

Cheyenne’s Dave Simpson, famous for writing columns, said: “I’m not making my .44 special because I’m afraid I’d drop it and shoot myself.”

I haven’t gotten into the habit of packing a firearm. Crime is very low in Lander and I didn’t feel the need to “pack”. My wife thinks we have too many guns, but that’s another story.

My friend Tom Cox credits my holster for helping to keep the crime rate low in Lander. “I suspect you may have contributed more than you might imagine that crime is very low here.”

Another friend Ben Freedman says: “My cellphone will never be confused with my 9mm strapped to my belt. Instead, my cell phone is tucked into the left front pocket of my pants. Now, since I retired 10 years ago, tucking your wallet into the right front pocket of your pants and your cellphone into the left front pocket seems quite sensible.

“Since my butt left me a long time ago, maybe I should consider stuffing my back pockets rather than my front ones. I know I’m not fooling anyone with front pockets.

But that woman’s question about my cell phone holster made me think. Am I out of fashion? Does wearing a cellphone on my belt make me a foggy old man?

So, I started looking around and noticed that most people under the age of 60 don’t carry a cell phone in a holster. Either they keep them in their pockets or stuck somewhere else. That holster I have been using fondly for 25 years is definitely out of style.

So, the reason the woman asked me if I was packing is that no doubt no one in her inner circle used a cell phone case. And probably never had.

John B. Brown intervenes: “The cell phone case is a lot harder to find these days. The Verizon store on Main Street mainly sells protective cases, usually made of impact-resistant plastic.

Has the cell phone case replaced the pocket protector?

For young people who have no idea what I’m talking about, when I was in school in the 1950s and 1960s, every teacher and most professional adults wore a protective plastic pocket that would fit in a shirt pocket. That was where you kept pens, pencils, paper clips and whatnot. It was close at hand.

Towards the end of the last century, pocket protection went out of fashion forever. You never see them. Like my holster, they convey a certain fashion statement that isn’t a compliment.

Greybull native Diana Dowling says, “My father, Art Schutte, was a conductor and ALWAYS had his pens in his shirt pocket.”

During my research on cell phones, I noticed that every little girl, ages 8 and up and even older girls, puts their cell phone in the back pocket of their jeans. The phone protrudes halfway and is apparently wedged in an unbreakable case called the Otterbox ™. It is strong as iron and the phone does not break even when you sit on it, which is often the case.

Incidentally, I can say I hate this new style of nose ring which is suddenly popular with females (and some males). It’s because I’ve spent so much time as a young reporter writing about pig farmers in Iowa. All of their big old pigs had prominent nose rings. Sorry girls, but your new look makes me cringe.

But back to cell phones: there are a disproportionate number of women of all ages putting phones and car keys around and stacking them somewhere in their immediate vicinity when drinking coffee, drinking or practicing yoga, etc.

I feel like I have to get back on the fashion track. I’m not sure how I’ll replace my cell phone holster – my holster is too small for any of my guns.

I’m not ready to put the phone in an Otterbox and put it in my back pocket. I know a stout young woman in her 30s who claims to put the phone in her bra, I’m not kidding.

Ron Gullberg of Cheyenne (also of the Wyoming Business Council) shares this fashion observation: “My kids still tease me about my baby carrier I wore a few years ago. Hey, he consolidated my keys, wallet, Copenhagen and Razr phone.

Recently, I passed an age milestone, which led me to write the following: “Am I finally at that age where I can wear pants with a belt around my chest?”

Perhaps the most significant question was, “Does this mean I can finally wear black socks and formal shoes with my walking shorts?”

Folks, I’m just trying to keep up with the appropriate fashion trends. Looks like my cell phone holster is toast. However, I’m definitely not ready for a nose ring.

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